As a way of wrapping up 2010, I decided to participate in Reverb 10, which provides daily prompts designed to "reflect on this year and manifest what's next". I'll post some responses here, others on Twitter (I'm PoMoGolightly there, if you'd like to follow me!)
The prompt for 12/1 is: One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
My one word for 2010 is "concern". I spent the better part of this year concerned about my own health (after eight months of testing, I'm confident that I'm fine and just have to be vigilant). Even worse, I have been concerned about two of my siblings, most especially about my brother who suffered a heart attack late this summer. He's doing well, and I'm glad he's made lifestyle changes because I'd be really, really angry at him if he didn't! (hey, there, C! Love ya! Don't scare me again, because when I get scared, I get angry!)
I've been concerned about other things, too. Writing my novel seems endless. I am pretty disciplined about writing regularly, but I'm at the point where I wonder if I'll ever finish, ever be satisfied. In my heart, I know that moment will come, but two years out of my MFA program, I'm starting to feel like I should have more to show for it.
Work sometimes concerns me, too. I finished a two-year non-tenure track contract in August and have been an adjunct this semester. I'm concerned about getting my contract renewed. I'm concerned about my career decisions (rather than applying for PhD programs, I decided to give myself the time to write my novel…the hope is that once it is published, I can use it to leverage a tenure-track job in creative writing…a girl can dream).
My heart is not heavy all the time, but 2010 has been a year of concern.
So what about 2011? I want the word that encapsulates next year to be "Complete". I want it to be a year of finishing the many projects I have going. Maybe there's a better word, because I want it to be even more than just finishing. I want to see my projects, my myriad ideas taking flight, becoming something more than I anticipated.
How about you? What would your two words be? Let me know if you join us over at Reverb 10!
