My first penpal was my Ohio grandmother. I would send letters filled with my world and ask her questions about hers. She always wrote back and asked me questions, too. I have a nice collection of letters from this woman whom I might otherwise not have known very well. In fact, when I was preparing to marry the first time around, I asked her about her wedding. She wrote a beautiful descriptive letter and thanked me for asking; she enjoyed the chance to remember her early romance, her dress, their rustic honeymoon.
Mrs. Wolfe, my first grade teacher, signed me up for a penfriend, and I wrote to Sarah in London well into our twenties. We sent little gifts and tapes so we could hear each others’ voice. One of these days I’ll be clever enough to find her via the magic of the Internet and write to her once more.
Letter writing, then, has been dear to me since my earliest literate days. Even with the ease of e-mail, I enjoy writing letters. In 2012, I’ve committed to writing 52 letters. Six weeks in, I’ve gotten one return letter and two email responses. For the month of February, I joined the Month of Letters Challenge, and I’ve steadily sent letters, postcards, Valentine’s cards, and little notes. I enjoy imagining the recipients at that moment of recognition: aha! This is not a bill! This is something pleasant. Well, at least that’s how I feel when I see familiar handwriting on an envelope.
Carole is honoring the Challenge with this week’s topic: Ten Tips for Writing a Great Letter. I hope my 38 years of letter-writing experience help you write a great letter of your own!
1. Read letters from a time when they were the main form of correspondance. A good model helps every writer. In 2009, I battled a fierce rainstorm so I could visit some of Jane Austen’s letters. They were as magnificent as you’d expect.
2. Consider your audience. We don’t always know the person to whom we’re writing very well, but a correspondance is an excellent exercise to remedy that. Begin, then, with what you do know. She is a reader? A gardener? A mother? A baker? Ask questions about the reader’s occupations, and if she responds, she’s sure to elaborate and sketch a more detailed picture.
3. Tell a story. We love to read stories! What happened when you walked into the wrong room that day? Who did you meet while walking the dogs?
4. Describe with great detail. My little house is not that remarkable, but I recently filled a letter to my mom with descriptions of the changes we made and our plans for future changes. I’ve described my view to Neal when writing him from the beach or Rome or Taos. Describe the charming acts of your baby or kitten or your partner as he cooks. Describe a meal. Wish to let the reader experience what you describe as you have, sparing no detail.
5. Express admiration for the reader. In his “Consolation to His Wife”, a letter from Plutarch to his wife upon the death of their dear little daughter, he writes, “I know the good fight you lately fought when you supported Theon’s sister and resisted the women who were charging in with wails and shrieks, simply to pile fire upon fire. When people see a friend’s house aflame they extinguish it with all possible speed and strength, but when souls are ablaze, they only add kindling…Against such a contingency I know that you will be on guard.” It is a sad letter, but one in which the writer expresses his admiration for his wife’s level-headed ways.
6. Review a book, play, or movie. It’s fun to hear what our friends are reading or watching and to get a thorough review. I’ve watched many a movie and read many a book because of detailed recommendations.
Content of letters is important, but considering how they will appear to the reader and how they will be used (oh, I’m sneaking in the rhetorical situation…once a writing instructor…) is also vital when writing a great letter.
7. Settle in. Don’t write when you only have time to dash. I like to have at least half an hour, which allows me to slow my thoughts, to consider before I write.
8. Use a beautiful pen. I favor fountain pens because I like the scritch of an extra-fine nib on paper. I most often write with a Lamy Safari or a lovely little pen Neal gave me a few years ago.
9. Indulge in high quality paper. I’m on a G. Lalo of Paris kick. It takes ink like a champ, and it comes in some pretty colors, too.
Mostly, though, the key thing is
10. Be authentic. Share something of yourself on paper, a real feeling, a real moment of your life, and your reader will treasure their letter. Emails and phone calls all too easily disappear into the ether, but letters have staying power. They are, in a way, little bits of immortality.
There’s so much more I could say about letter writing: spread it over a week, sharing a bit of each day; add a sketch or watercolor; be hilarious; share something you’ve studied. But I think instead I’ll ink my pen and write a letter to a friend.
What do you enjoy about letter writing? What do you like reading about in letters?
Reading a note, card or letter written in the authors voice is such a thrill, as it is like a tiny moment of being together. I’ve written 20 letters, received 3 back and one email reply. I’m amazed at how few letters are acknowledged, but perhaps I’m not good at writing. I enjoy doing it, nonetheless.
I think our lists are very similar this week and that makes me happy because I know you are an exceptional writer.
What a great list! The only thing that popped into my mind was using a quality pen, which around our house is also a fountain pen.
i love writing and getting letters. my godmother and i have exchanged them for more than 30 years and there’s always more to write about and learn. she’s a textile artist, so i’m always wanting to hear more about her work.
I too am trying to 52 in 52, and loving it – I have reconnected with an old friend, got a letter in return and a couple of emails. I love spreading the letter writing love.
Loved this post! I’ve had many pen pals in my first decade of life. My grandmother way one of my favorite pen pals. We saw each other rarely as the big ocean separated us, but I vividly remember finishing each letter with a list of what we had to look forward to. We kept that tradition for years and years. My other grandma was a great letter writer, when I was a mother of young children she frequently wrote me encouraging letters and included articles with child-rearing tips. Now as I find myself an ocean apart from all my loved ones I have decided to take up letter writing once again, thanks to you Beverly! I treasure each letter I receive from you. On a last note, the same day I read this post Patrick and I watched “Mary & Max”. This story is about a young girl from Australia and her much older pen pal from NYC.