I cropped out as much snow as I could so none of us would have flashbacks to a few weeks ago. If you are still suffering with snow, I apologize for any pain this picture causes!
Carole asked for Ten Things I Love About my Family. There are so many ways to think about family that this directive gave me pause. I have my family of origin: my parents, my four older siblings, two sisters-in-law and four nieces and four nephews. There are cousins galore. I have in-laws, including two great nieces. I have friends who have become family to me; friends who play with me and help keep me strong when I sometimes don’t feel strong.
And I have my little pack, the mob of mutts who make me laugh, who snuggle up to me, who drive me a little crazy, all led by their capable alpha, Neal.
What’s the common thread, then? What do I love among all these branches of family?
1. Humor. My family likes to laugh. My in-laws like to laugh. This makes getting together fun. (I would like to register a complaint, perhaps a common one among youngest children: no one ever seems to want to play any games, though! Come on, people!)
2. Acceptance. Even though I have always been “different,” my family doesn’t hassle me about it. In a family of engineer-y, number-y type people, I was odd-girl out. I remember my mom excusing my differences as “creative” (before people indicated quotes with fingers, my mom did so with the tone of her voice). “She’s the ‘creative’ one,” mom would say. I think hearing that over and over in my childhood made me unafraid to create and experiment.
3. Storytelling. My parents are both story tellers. I have to warm them up, but it is worth it! My mom has a brilliant memory; she is able to pick up a precious object in her house and give me its history–who owned it, why it matters. My dad takes longer to get going with a story, but he has some goodies, especially from his childhood and teen years growing up in Ohio.
4. Frugality. Looking back at my youth, I realize that my parents had a few lean times. With five kids in the house, who wouldn’t? I never felt it, though. Not once. I knew better than to ask for extravagances, but that just seemed (and still does) like a right way to live. If I can’t pay cash, I don’t buy it. Living beneath means is something I admire and love about my family–not only my parents, but Neal, too.
5. Kindness. This matters more to me than almost anything else. I have a kind-hearted family, and Neal and his family are all very kind, too. I fear that our pop culture all-too-often portrays us as being a ruthless set, greedy and social climbing. Maybe I just don’t go near that type of person, but almost everyone in my life seems to live from a place of kindness.
6. Shared memory. Isn’t it one of the most vital parts of family? They know where we’ve all been. They get where we’re at now.
7. Work ethic. My parents and siblings are hard workers. I love that about them, even though a few of my siblings could use to lay off the hard work a bit (I’m not going to lecture, but balancing #7 with #1 is important!).
8. Food. There are certain foods, as in every family, that are revered in mine. Some foods I no longer eat, but the memory of them brings me back to particular joy. My father is a good cook, and sometimes on a Sunday he would make London broil with toast and garlic butter. First, I would no longer eat the meat. Next, I haven’t used garlic salt in about 20 years. I can still taste this meal, though, and it seemed quite fancy when I was a girl!
9. Dichotomy. My mom was a city girl, and my dad a country boy when they met. They raised us all in suburbia, but the dichotomy of their upbringings was evident, and I love that I feel fairly comfortable in both settings.
10. Place. Family doesn’t always have to accept what you do, no matter what. Truly, I think it is right for family to be a little critical. Really? You lied? That’s not cool. Really? You’re doing something foolish? Well, we want you to think again. Neal’s way of handling this is a little phrase that works like a charm on me: “that’s unbecoming.” I never want to hear it, nor do I ever want to see disapproval in the eyes of my parents (although every time I show my mom a new tattoo, it is there!!). This is my nature: I’m a people pleaser. But I also have an independent, somewhat rebellious streak that lies beneath my desire to please. Sometimes rebel Golightly needs a bit of a check. Place means something else to me, too: I am the youngest family member of my generation on both sides of my family. There are times when I know I’m behaving as a youngest child, and my family just dotes on me despite it.
I think I amuse them, even when I’m acting in an unbecoming way. That makes me love them even more.
How about you? What do you love about your family, how ever you define it?
I love your list and your parents sound like wonderful people. Obviously they are because they raised a fantastic person. And about the tattoos – I get that. My mom would definitely disapprove and I’m not sure I’d have been able to get one while she was still alive.
I love how you listed frugality! It is so nice to read about someone else who isn’t materialistic. It isn’t about the items in life, it’s about the memories. It sounds as though are you truly blessed all the way round. Loved your post.
I love the way you blended “old” and “new” family… and the values you share with both. thank you for sharing your list!
What a lovely post! I like the part about not behaving exactly as you should and having your family love you anyway. I get that part too, because as you said, it does amuse them!