I was pleased this summer when one of the professors who runs the writing program where I teach called to see if I’d cover for her maternity leave. I jumped on the chance for a few reasons: I’d get to use her materials, which is always fun and illuminating for a teacher; I’d show my willingness to step up, which might be a good thing if there’s an opportunity ever to go full time here; I’d get paid for two more credits, and those funds will go right into my account for the "big trip" to Iceland, the Faroe Islands, and Norway.
The baby was born on Friday, and this week is the start of my new schedule. It. Is. Exhausting. I’m in the midst of grading papers for my own classes, and I collected papers from the new class on Monday. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, but I know I can manage it all. I’ve kept far busier schedules than this in the past. Hectic, fast-paced New York schedules. This should be cake for me.
But maybe that’s the wrong attitude. Maybe it would be better for my mental health if I admitted that this is a challenge. I’m a few years older than I was when I worked full-time and taught two classes and commuted all over Westchester and wrote and put together applications for graduate school and dealt with divorce and learned to manage a household on my own. These next two semesters are really important in my life. I’m in the process of revising my novella/short story collection in order to defend in the spring so that I can start selling myself on the full-time market as well as in the publication market. It’s ok that I’m going to bed before 10:00 most nights, right?
I don’t want this to seem like a complaint. I don’t feel complain-y. Instead I feel like I’m trying to talk myself into being more understanding of what I’m doing and the amount of work that is entailed. It’s ok to go to bed early. It’s ok to ask Neal to pick up pizza when I can’t face trying to be creative in the kitchen. Or even just being in the kitchen.
But is it ok to beg for the chihuahua that we heard about last night from our friends Isa and Pascal? He’s a pup that might need a home if no one claims him. As soon as I heard about him (he’s named Georgie in my mind already), the weight of all I’m doing lifted from me. I felt excited and happy and hopeful. I’m trying to persuade Neal to feel the same about Georgie. Maybe if we go to see him on Saturday Neal will understand my desire–nay, my need– for this pup.
Here’s hoping!
You definitely need a puppy. There’s nothing like a dog who adores you at the end of a long, exhausting day.
Hopefully you don’t get too overwhelmed. And yes, it’s okay to go to bed before 10- I’m barely 23 and I do almost every night! We’ll need pics of the possible new puppy…hope he finds a home with you!
Of course it’s alright to admit you’re challenged by a busy schedule. Of course it’s alright to admit you’re tired. And your longing for a Chihuahua made me laugh — why do you think we have three dogs?
Acceptance comes with maturity…it’s my thought for the day (for whatever that’s worth). Who needs a blog?? I can just post comments right here! hehe
I can’t wait to meet Georgie! I can just see him in a perfect tiny handknit..beret….
Nothing wrong with any of it. Although, word to the recently potty training wise, make sure the pup is housebroken if you’re really tired. Trust me. Still working on that one over here. SIGH. Almost 48 hours poo free. Almost.
It’s absolutely fine to not cook every night. It’s absolutely fine to get a good amount of sleep, and that is one of the best things you can do for an overworked and overstressed body and mind. Just remember that you don’t have to spread yourself too thin all of the time.
Oh your schedule sounds very much like mine and I’m sooo challenged every day. I would also be in bed before 10 every night if it weren’t for those few rows of knitting that I feel I need in order to stay sane. We have two cats for a good reason. 🙂